Republican Candidates

The New Republican Candidates Names (as thought up in Economics)

Rudolph Guiliani - Rudy Ewwliani or Rudy Jewliani (hes not a jew tho)
John McCain - John McPain
Mitt Romney - Shitt Romney
Mike Huckabee - Mike Suckabee or Mike Fuckabee
Sam Brownback - Sam Bareback
Fred Thompson - (I couldn't think of one so its still fred thompson, but lowercase so its more insulting.)

Uhhh
I know none of these are particularly witty, but Economics is pretty boring.

It's raining on my keyboard.

I'm sitting and trying to justify why I'm still mad. If I'm so mad, why is it 11.30 and I'm up trying to get him to go to sleep? If I'm so mad, then why do I care whether or not he's okay? The radio is playing the 3rd Green Day song in the past hour, and it doesn't help when I'm trying to just forget about him for a while.

The rain can't be good for the keyboard, but somehow it feels better letting it go.

Gross.

I was making myself a salad, and for kicks I started reading the ingredients on the back of the ranch dressing bottle. I was a litlle shocked (and somewhat disgusted) to find that it had not one, but two of the same chemicals in my hair stuff that I used this morning (which I also read for kicks). Oh well. A little ranch in my hair, and a little hair stuff in my salad. Who can tell the difference?

Moments

A List Of Moments and things I would kill for:

1. The smell of car exhaust (in small dosages)
2. Guitar Picks
3. Casey Lee
4. Plant Bamboo
5. Things made of bamboo. (Like potscrapers from Whole Foods)
6. Whole foods
7. Fake Problems
8. Sean, Chris and Derek
9. Waking up at 530 and realizing that we're going to be in trouble if jacob doesnt get up and go to another room, which makes me realize he was there the whole time
10. Against Me!
11. Asian Mexican place
12. Roller Coasters
13. Glow sticks
14. Congar
15. The number 13
16. the number 17
17. the number 87
18. time magazine's verbatim
19. venice beach
20. black and white things
21. old songs that remind us of our past (ex: Lets get this party started - pink)
22. Ridiculous sad songs: (ex: Graduation - Vitamin C?)
23. tofu
24. My one and only freshman sidekick
25. love your body day
26. grape nuts
27. Mr Pibb
28. brains
29. my middle finger
30. crepes
31. email
32. the beach market
33. eiffel tower
34. synthesizers
35. techno
36. The Eco Cafe
37. Stars antique market
38. Control - Alt - Delete
39. stilts
40. birth control
41. Stars (not celebrities)
42. rain
43. Dr. Pepper
44. RMX's
45. Tuarana's
46. Ige
47. Acting on impulses
48. buying tampons
49. Relieved because Naked understands my need to get naked
50. arguing about soymilk
51. watching the korean channel
52. actually getting into the soap operas on the korean channel and discussing them with jacob
53. shooting keller in the head
54. watching records spin round and round and round and round.....
55. CONGAR
56. dinosaurs
57. sitting and realizing how amazing all this technology crap is
58. the smell of christmas trees
59. Booboo
60. Working so hard that sweat actually rolls
61. Moshing
62. hightops
63. Jackson and MiniCon
64. Staying up and thinking "oh i should go to bed" and then staying up another couple of hours
65. wondering what people are doing when theyre not around me
66. being afraid and overloaded by too much to look at and being led where im supposed to go
67. being young
68. mexican cokes with awesome people
69. dreams of having a soymilk empire!
70. dreams in general
71. hiding and not being found
72. being held
73. sex
74. lemons and lemon things
75. bass drums and bass guitars
76. The Way I Are
77. getting rear ended when its not my car or my fault
78. legoland
79. making jokes about manhattan beach bitches and their credit cards
80. sitting with him and saying nothing and thinking about everything we could do, if only...

Russell

Today I was walking to a Rite-Aid and there was a homeless man in front of it. As I walked by I broke the cardinal rule of not making eye contact. So there was a full 2 seconds of eye contact with this strange homeless man.
I went into Rite-Aid and bought myself some M&M's because I was craving some. Then as I was leaving I saw he was still sitting there and I know that once you make eye contact you have to at least give change. Well, I was better than that, and I had a half hour to waste before my ride came, so I walk to him and say, "hey if I buy you dinner will you talk to me for a while?" and he agreed, so I went to the Denny's across the street and bought some pancakes for the homeless guy. He was like, "OMG pancakes, I haven't had pancakes in so long."
He wasn't a crazy homeless guy btw. Just homeless.
So I sat down across from him and snacked on my M&M's while he started talking to me. His name was Russell something or other and he'd been homeless for about 3 years. He looked to be about 36-37, but I'm guessing he was really like 34. He had short brown hair and was relatively clean shaven for a homeless guy.
I thought he was just gonna tell me what it was like to be homeless, but instead he launched into his whole life story:

The Story Of Russell Something or Other, as retold by Me.

Russell grew up in a small town in Norcal somewhere, I cant remember the name exactly, but he said it was about an hour from SanFran. He was a good kid, no trouble, no problems, parents were together. He had a older brother who liked to fish. He had good grades all through school, like, honor roll type of grades. 3.5 ish. He had a best friend who broke his leg in 3 places by jumping out of a tree. His first girlfriends name was Cindy, and she had blonde hair. She didn't like fishing and Russell's brother would wave fish in her face all the time, which made Russell mad.
His father owned a painting company, and Russell was supposed to take over the company since his brother had already said that he wasn't going to waste his life getting high on paint fumes. So Russell spent long hours with his father painting walls. This, russell said, made for a very boring childhood.
In his sophmore year of high school, Cindy got drunk one night and demanded that Russell "give it to her," which, being a 16 year old boy, he was not going to refuse. She got pregnant, but miscarried before the end of the 3rd month. Shortly after, they broke up.
For his 17th birthday, he got a new puppy that he named Momba. Momba was a black lab that followed him everywhere he went. Not more than 6 months after, somebody killed Momba in the middle of the night with a gardening shovel. You know, the pointy one. "That was the saddest moment of my life, waking up and realizing that Momba was dead."
Soon after turning 18 he graduated from his high school and continued working for his father at the painting company. He worked there for another three years until...
A girl he had met at a bar told him she was pregnant with his child. He married her only a little past his 21st birthday. His first son, Michael Owen, was born April 15th, 199?. He was a beautiful baby with lovely brown hair and green eyes. He loved his son, but fought with his wife almost every day. He was careful though, not to fight in front of Michael. His second son, Kyle was born April 17th, 2 years after Michael. He looked just like Michael did as an infant. Things with his wife only got worse, but he was careful never to be abusive in any way to her or the kids. 10 months after Kyle, his wife had two more kids, identical twins they named Theodore and Greggory.
They got a divorce soon after, but she allowed Russell to live there with the kids. Things got better for a while, and one night they went out for drinks. Well, long story short, he wakes up in his car alone, two days have gone by, and he has no idea where he is. When he drives back home, he finds that his ex-wife packed up everything, and took the kids and dissapeared. He had nothing. No wallet, no keys, no money. All he had were the clothes on his back and his car, which wouldn't last long if he didn't have any money.
The first thing he did was sell his car so he'd have enough money to buy clothes and food for himself. He got aprox 2500 for it. With this money, he bought clothes and a good pair of shoes and a backpack. Then he started walking south, where he'd never been but had heard so much about. Sometimes as he was walking through a town he'd see some kids having a party, and there'd be so many people, nobody would notice him. He'd take showers there and take their toothpaste and razors and soap sometimes so that he wouldn't have to spend money on it. A few times he took showers there.
Eventually he got to Santa Monica, and Venice. He spent a good amount of time in Venice with his new friends he made there. Sometimes he would go to libraries and search for his wifes name online, not to find her, but to find his four kids.
I met Russell at Rite Aid because he is still going south. He says he is going to San Diego, and from there he'll go east to Arizona where he knows real estate is cheap, and he can buy a house and get his life back. He misses his kids a lot and you can tell he beats himself up everyday for not being there for them.
He tells me hes got about 4 thousand dollars, which is in no way rich, because that really is all he has.

Oh russell.

Hooray!

After a long and unnecessary hiatus...

Here i Is.

But not right now. Now is dinner time with "the gang." (Seriously, who actually says that?)
So I'll be back later to tell you all about everything.

I Will Not Be Silenced

Sitting today at the Eco Cafe, my place of worship, I was talking to this guy Case (Short for casey?) about my vacation, and what I'd been doing. I started talking to him about CrimethInc. and he was telling me about it too and it was a jolly good time until this lady came over to us and said that we were "interrupting her luncheon with her friend." We weren't talking very loud, or being vulgar, anything like that, and that lady had no right to even speak to us. (Fucking bitch had a fur lined jacket. Fuck was she doing in a vegan cafe?) Anyway, so I apologized for the crime Case and I hadn't committed, and so she went back to being a bitch with her friend. Well, Case is like, totally awesome, and has all these little booklets on anarchy and veganism and so he gets them out and proceeds to write in one. What he does is flip to the center fold and draws the lady in her fur jacket and a whole bunch of skeleton animals around it, then draws a skeleton animal wearing her skin, while her skeleton stands in a corner. All in all, it was pretty intense for a sharpie drawing. We continue our own luncheon and when we're ready to leave Case tells me to go outside and wait, which I do. I'm waiting waiting and then I see him talking to the lady and shes nodding and then he walks towards me. Outside, we see her open it with her friend and then the faces they make as they get to the center fold is absolutely priceless.

I regret nothing.
You want to know why I took it out?
I am not afraid of anything. I wasn't afraid to put it in. I wasn't afraid of seeing it through both sides. I wasn't afraid when I had to put a safety pin in. I wasn't afraid of getting caught, and I wasn't afraid of what people think or what they say. I stand behind my actions 100%, and I never back down.
So why did I take it out, you say?
Even though it didn't cause me any pain, it did to others. How many times have you gotten mad and said to yourself, "When I'm dead they'll see how much they love me. Then they'll care." I didn't try to off myself, but its the same idea. I had no idea so many people gave a shit about what I did. And they were all so worried and concerned that I felt bad. I had caused this. And I couldn't stand for that.


"No doubt. No regret. No fear."

Judge Me

I love this song.

Today I punched a kid in the face because he was holding a kitten by the tail and wouldn't put it down when I told him to. So I punched him in the face. Everyone who hurts animals can come get a punch in the face. By the way, he kicked me and then ran away. But it was worth it. Don't fuck with little things or you'll deal with me (and get punched in the face, which nobody likes).

Quote:

"Every girl I've ever dated has been hurt by guys. I have to work so hard to prove that I'm not a jerk; that we're not all the same."

It's weird keeping a blog and a journal at the same time.

I realize that the end part of Made Up Love Song #43 gets a little out there, but thats the Guillemots for you. The beginning is good. Don't disagree.

Finally, the week is over. Why did this week seem like it just drug on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on? Was it just me? Doesn't matter, because the weekend is here. And its gonna be good. I have a feeling.

Made Up Love Song #43

Dream Sequences?

Last night, I had a series of dreams. None of them were really coherent or seem to have any connection, but I had all four of them in the same sleeping time.
The first one was powderpuff-esque. There was Team K (which is my team in powderpuff, I didn't name it after myself, Katherine named it) and the other team was wearing pink and green. The only thing that happened in my dream was that we were walking into a huddle and I look over my shoulder and the other team wearing pink and green has broken into a choreographed dance routine.
The next dream I had was that I was walking with someone, but I can't remember who, although it was someone I know. Then we were hiding in a dark spot and there was one of those sirens going off and then rumbling and then he kissed me and then we both realized that we shouldn't have done that.
The third dream had me walking through the desert and it was raining, and then there was a tidal wave, and so I ran to it and tried to swim through it. But I only got halfway through before someone pulled me out and into a boat. In the boat there was Bam Margera and Casey Lee starting a fight, and I was like, what are you guys doing here? But they started to fight and bam was getting bam'd and then i see over at the other end of the boat is my friend Kade and he's binding and telling me to shush cause he doesn't want Bam to know his secret.
The last one involved me and jacob walking on a tiny little sun in the middle of space. We were walking hand in hand and I kept telling him that it was pointless to keep going. But he told me that we were almost there, but he wouldnt tell me where. We walked and walked on this tiny sun and then I got tired of it so I kissed him goodbye and then i jumped off the sun and left him behind.

Who Am I?

Lately I've been thinking I'm not quite who I'm supposed to be. People have been telling me, "oh, if they're smart, they've probably picked up on it anyway. If they pay attention to you then they should have noticed." But I don't know how obvious it is. Anyone know what I'm talking about and can back up these people's claims?

The third picture

The best one of my best fauxhawk was fuzzy and shit so there's this one instead. Sorry.

Hair Adventures

It's amazing what can be accomplished with enough product. 

Try several products.
This is what I accomplished:




theres another one too but blogger isnt working so ill try later...

yeah
i was a little bored today
but...

oh well.
all for your entertainment....

rip

The guy who invented Gatorade died. He was eighty.

How sad right? I love gatorade.

The Driving Adventure Begins...

...And already I hate it. Ugh god. So, my certificate of completion for drivers ed came in the mail today and my dad went over all these ground rules and things I'm going to have to do while he teaches me to drive. Here's some of them:

- No radio. You have to listen and concentrate.

-"I'm going to take you to the desert and have you turn at 4o on the dirt and not lose control."

- Pay for your own insurance!! Yeah, its 200 a month. Bummer.

- You can work real hard over the summer and earn money for a beat up car you can reck so you can buy a new beat up car.

Ugh.

So when you see me, tell me its going to be okay. And maybe buy me a cookie. Or not. Whatever.

SAT

I took the SAT today and it was some dumb shit.

But the hilight of it was this morning, when I was waiting to go into the room, I see Matt McFarland running (with the sandals he always wears, causing him to not really run but just walk fast/hop) and his "grr somebody is in trouble for (insert problem here) but of course its not me because i'm the perfect and awesome matt mcfarland" face. It was a riot.

The Gun Shot Dream

Last night I had a dream. I don't have dreams very often, so when I do I regard them as being prophetic in a metaphorical sort of way.

In my dream, the first thing I remember was that I got shot. I was lying face down on the ground and I had two shots in my stomach. I thought I was going to die from these gunshots, and it just so happened that I had a gun in my hand, so I put it right at my right temple. I tried to say anything. But I couldn't, so I pulled the trigger. But I didn't die right away. So, knowing that I was going to die soon, I put my head down and closed my eyes. I tried talking to pass the time, but the only thing I could think of was how mad Jacob would be that I killed myself, so I kept saying "I love you Jacob" but I wasn't really saying it, because I couldn't talk. So I was just lying face down on the ground mouthing it over and over again. I didn't think to say anything else. But, I wasn't dying. I put my head up and opened my eyes, and everything was red, like someone with bloodshot eyes. Like when you puke so hard that blood goes into your eyes and you see red like through a red filter. Anyway, I kept trying to say things, I was basically screaming them in my head. Then, I decided I didn't want to die. But I had no idea what to do about it. After all, I had two bullets in my stomach and one in my brain. I tried to get up, thinking that it wouldn't work that well, but instead I found I could get up and walk around. I put my hood up so that people wouldn't see the hole in my head, and I started walking through town. I came across a paparazzi who asked if I had seen what happened. There was something going on across the street, but I thought he meant what had happened to me, so I told him I got shot and kept walking. I got to the police station because I thought they could help me and I told the police officer what happened. He said that he couldn't take me to the hospital because he was the only officer in the station that night and he couldn't leave. But he said there were band-aids in the bathroom if I wanted to use them. So I went in the bathroom looking for the band-aids, and there was a mirror. When I looked in it, I expected half my head to be gone, but instead, there was no blood or hole or anything. I frantically searched for it, and then pulled up my shirt and looked for the other two. They were gone! When I looked back in the mirror, I noticed this small thing sitting on my shoulder. I looked closer and saw that it was a mini bloodied version of me with the holes I had been looking for earlier. It scared me cause it was all bloody and so I tried to brush it off, but it didn't work and instead it just said "Memento Mori" which I remembered is Latin for "Remember that you must die." 

Then I woke up cause I was scared. I guess its more of a nightmare than a dream. Actually, all my dreams are nightmares.

Oh well. I hope you enjoyed my night adventures.

Good Old Days

(It's just the song I mention later, there's no video.)

For some reason, lately I've been trying to reconstruct a playlist from my darker days. I've done a fairly good job, considering I didn't know any of the names of the songs or the DJ's. Right now the list is at 16 songs, although I know that's such a small amount of the actual songs I've ever fallen in love with from that time period.

But as I've listened to the songs, the ones that I remember always have this certain style. They always have this fatty bass line in the back. Nothing special, just that ongoing beat. It's the beat that you can only hear on ipods if you push the headphones farther into your ears. Its the one that you can feel when you go to concerts. The bass drum. All my songs have that.

Another thing I've noticed is that they all have this dark sort of tone to them. I was never the happy rave kid. I wasn't the one who sat in the corners either, but I always enjoyed the songs that were more industrial instead of more like carnival music type. It's just dark. And I know you're questioning my judgement when I describe songs by darkness and lightness, but you know what I mean. Don't deny it.

I Love My Sex, by Benny Benassi is a terrific example of the songs I listened to. It's got the deepest bass line I've almost ever heard (I can hear it without smushing the headphones into my ears) and its got that synth thats just so typical of Benassi songs, be it Satisfaction or Illusion. If I had to pick something to relate the sounds to, it would be the sound that electricity makes, but without all the crackling and a lot louder. Just the buzz sound. It's awesome. 

I'm sorry if I'm confusing, but trying to explain why certain songs are good as opposed to bad ones is like explaining myspace to an old person. 

Transgender Remembrance Day

I'm not emo. I hate arm bands. I don't wear all black.

Except for today I did.

So when someone pointed at me today and said, "yeah! white arm bands! yeahhhhhh!!" I felt compelled to correct her.

I explained that today is Transgender Remembrance Day and she stood there witht his puzzled look on her face. "Whats that?" she asked me.

Almost too stunned at what she was asking, I paused and asked, "Whats what?" 

"What's transgender?"

Seriously, do people not know what it is, or was it just my lucky day that I found the one girl who didn't. Anyway, I gave here a brief description of what it was, which I'm pretty sure she wasn't listening to.

But then she formed a brilliant question in the empty space between her ears, one which she felt compelled to ask me:

"Oh, you mean like Chris Crocker?"

I may not be transgendered, but somehow I feel that I represent at least someone when I say that I am embarrassed for the T community when it comes to Chris Crocker. People obviously know nothing about transgender, and the only person they know is the new spokesperson; Chris Fucking Crocker. This brash and cocky "star" is some people's first and sometimes only view of the transgendered community. And this ANGERS ME! People don't want to be judged by other people's actions! What if Michael Jackson represented the Black Community? It's unfair for a group to be evaluated and value based upon one eccentric representative. Maybe the reason that transgendered people are so looked down upon is because of the few that make it into mainstream society.

Its no wonder that they're commonly seen as freaks and unaccepted in society. Look at the models they have to base themselves off of.

The KKK Ghost

Yay! Photo of the day!

Here's the first one ever:

The KKK Ghost

Old emails from way back when.

i was reading through my old emails today, and I found the ones that jacob and I wrote before we went to see the show that basically changed my life.

Why did it change my life?

Well, it solidified my love for Against Me!, it introduced me to Fake Problems (the love of my life), I saw Jacob for the first time in 5 years, i met dave and I met Jake!.

But the emails are funny because in them he's like describing Jake, but I don't know its jake, I just think its some scary guy. "He's a totally awesome guy. He'll love you." he told me.

Go now, and read old emails!